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BoredinCbus's FML badges
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BoredinCbus's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
by notalovestory / 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
by PerpetuallyHappy / 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm / United States / Health
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
by Madeline Lee / 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm / France (Aquitaine) / Intimacy
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:29am / United States / Health
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
by mandygeegoesnom / 02/29/2012 at 12:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 3:40am / United States (New York) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in… Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off,… Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML