Bookie2152

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Bookie2152

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9349
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bookie2152 : Dirty Maritimer

Bookie2152's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:04pm<b>DoomJeff91</b> - the 10/26/2009 at 12:02am<b>roll_fukng_tide</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 2:01pm<b>bosoxfan16</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 10:26pm<b>magicoilyoctopi</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:34pm<b>SZeth</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 12:51pm<b>ha</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 1:22pm<b>Elggup</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 11:35am<b>slayergirlkal</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 11:32am<b>AnneFTW</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 2:50pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 9:26pm<b>not_ur_mexican</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 7:10pm<b>shortyshort</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 11:25pm<b>SilentGround</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 6:52pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 5:57pm<b>ohhboyy</b> - the 04/24/2009 at 7:02pm<b>heytherexo</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 6:46pm<b>Contrius</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 12:33pm

Bookie2152's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bookie2152's favorite FMLs

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

by blutownie13 / 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm / United States / Love

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

by gotmon3y / 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids