Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Booda_Shun : It is with great pride and fervor that we announce the anointment of a new Serdar by the decree of the Great Padishah. Serdar Thes-Un will now preside over the Voodun of the Togran Sect. May his leadership be guided by divine prudence. May peace and enlightenment forever grace our people.
Your lives, your thoughts, and your decisions are all influenced and controlled by the mighty Purvis Ferdegaster. Be warned.
Avoid the Temple Mount at Tal-D'nor during times of heavy rain. Vengeful spirits who prey on the innocent are said to be present.
In college cold college.
And yes, I really was born on the first of January.
Please DO NOT message me. (Unless I message you first but even that's unlikely)
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML
Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML
Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I told my neighbor that I was going to Réunion Island on vacation in a few months. She said that she'd always wanted to go there. As a light-hearted joke, I said she should come with me. She's now booked a plane ticket. FML
Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML
Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML
Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Friday 18 April 2014