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BodyCountEndless

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BodyCountEndless

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  • Number of visits : 5978
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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BodyCountEndless's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40383) - you deserved it (3010)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (5015)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42631) - you deserved it (3124)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (14234)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41167) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

#21149185
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (2742)

On 05/23/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by notgoodwitholdpeople - Singapore

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

#21148492
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35720) - you deserved it (9216)

On 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (8268)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46968) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47728) - you deserved it (11699)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44822) - you deserved it (6289)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. And so it begins. FML

#21146606
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (4953)

On 05/20/2014 at 7:50pm - work - by Helpful Smile - United States (Iowa)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (8064)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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