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Bmf2k

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Bmf2k

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 310
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Bmf2k : I like South Park and Blink-182.

Bmf2k's page activity

Visits<b>Checker</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:42pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:43pm<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 2:14pm<b>thepanakuukanap</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Pieby</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 10:47pm<b>BaconBitter</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:27pm<b>ticia002</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 5:26pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 3:58pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:21am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:30am<b>Fitzinator1995</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 10:38pm<b>februaryferni</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:37pm<b>jw90</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:54am

Bmf2k's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Bmf2k's badges

Bmf2k's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (14716)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (4946)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

#20817315
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45640) - you deserved it (2779)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm - misc - by fuck people (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56748) - you deserved it (5516)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (10637)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30015) - you deserved it (8575)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17646) - you deserved it (19256)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (2148)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (4977)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (5593)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

#17588910
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:20pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (3336)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (213629)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

#16496230
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (3393)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:07am - health - by missbutthole - United States (New York)



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