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Bluthdon

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Bluthdon
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  • Number of visits : 2132
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bluthdon's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (5087)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82918) - you deserved it (7036)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95219) - you deserved it (32486)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

#379076
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (446106) - you deserved it (72703)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141943) - you deserved it (1343)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (398080) - you deserved it (30178)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
865 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56228) - you deserved it (329662)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (209303) - you deserved it (41029)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

#39551
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32266) - you deserved it (10714)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228317) - you deserved it (38140)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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