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Blutak

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Blutak

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  • Number of visits : 1091
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Blutak's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Blutak's favorite FMLs

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44542) - you deserved it (5436)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35430) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (3153)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30910) - you deserved it (17310)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35399) - you deserved it (5209)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (3096)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56753) - you deserved it (17940)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13808) - you deserved it (34151)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60153) - you deserved it (5933)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (4637)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (5991)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48785) - you deserved it (4545)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)



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