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Blutak

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Blutak

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  • Number of visits : 356
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Blutak's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Blutak's badges

Blutak's favorite FMLs

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51907) - you deserved it (16572)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11957) - you deserved it (31114)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55738) - you deserved it (5496)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (4280)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (5602)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44641) - you deserved it (4198)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (5002)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (3323)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33523) - you deserved it (7662)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37794) - you deserved it (4437)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (14633)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52305) - you deserved it (3854)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (9549)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States



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