Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blueocean7

Search for a member

Blueocean7

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2375
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Blueocean7's page activity

Visits<b>AFaye3964</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:53am<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:00am<b>ohcheriecherie</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:45pm<b>piepiepiepiepie</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:35pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>wildcats909</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>rob02</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 12:46am<b>chouter21</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>mia_marie01</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:00am<b>attitude_angel</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:10am<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:09pm<b>AuzziPurdy</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 2:03am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 3:16pm<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:29pm

Blueocean7's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Blueocean7's badges

Blueocean7's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14859) - you deserved it (41133)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38231) - you deserved it (2946)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (23163)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65050) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65050) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML

#18473863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (4552)

On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14233) - you deserved it (43707)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42507) - you deserved it (4940)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47546) - you deserved it (5789)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44930) - you deserved it (7009)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55951) - you deserved it (8313)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: