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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (2093)
On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (4969)
On 03/28/2011 at 3:10pm - love - by AFGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (4510)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (4510)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35858) - you deserved it (4474)
On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (3495)
On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2889)
On 03/04/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Shoofly - United States
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (33095)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (4336)
On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by unknown -
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (2973)
On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (8917)
On 01/20/2011 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (21129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12703) - you deserved it (66455)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58031) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherf*cking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (2451)
On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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