Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blueocean7

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Blueocean7

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5574
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Blueocean7's page activity

Visits<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:46pm<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:33am<b>team_hale</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:29pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:42pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:41am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:53am<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:00am<b>ohcheriecherie</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:45pm<b>piepiepiepiepie</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:35pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>wildcats909</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>rob02</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 12:46am<b>chouter21</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>mia_marie01</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:00am<b>attitude_angel</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:10am<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:09pm<b>AuzziPurdy</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 2:03am<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:29pm

Blueocean7's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Blueocean7's badges

Blueocean7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53280) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76241) - you deserved it (4373)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62002) - you deserved it (4490)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51101) - you deserved it (5085)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44496) - you deserved it (9336)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57538) - you deserved it (16819)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45750) - you deserved it (14793)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

#20838310
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (47176)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

#20838310
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (47176)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59017) - you deserved it (5375)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52344) - you deserved it (5247)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56053) - you deserved it (4370)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66744) - you deserved it (11783)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: