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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55490) - you deserved it (2255)
On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (3752) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (5777)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (5777)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (3336)
On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11342) - you deserved it (31847)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (3756)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (4288)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (6357)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47642) - you deserved it (6157)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17046) - you deserved it (3999)
On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24149) - you deserved it (14906)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States
Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (3417)
On 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by bethanygirl - United States
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45237) - you deserved it (14534)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43178) - you deserved it (3430)
On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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