Blueocean7

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Blueocean7

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8397
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Blueocean7's page activity

Visits<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 11:50am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:59pm<b>asiansapphire</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:21pm<b>fml0505</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:40am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:46pm<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:33am<b>team_hale</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:29pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:42pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:41am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:53am<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:00am<b>ohcheriecherie</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:45pm<b>piepiepiepiepie</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:35pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>wildcats909</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>rob02</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 12:46am<b>chouter21</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>mia_marie01</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:00am

Blueocean7's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Blueocean7's badges

Blueocean7's favorite FMLs

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

by innocent / 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

by fuckface? I wish / 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

by oops999 / 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

by Thomas / 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

by Falling off the wagon / 11/09/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 10:23am / United States / Kids

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work