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Blueocean7's FML badges
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Blueocean7's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML
by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Love
Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML
by why?? / 04/20/2014 at 12:52am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML
by booboo300 / 04/03/2014 at 6:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work