Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blueocean7

Search for a member

Blueocean7
  • Town/Country : Washington DC, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2037
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Blueocean7's last visitors

lexiieeex3wildcats909rob02chouter21mia_marie01attitude_angelAuzziPurdySemperfi92340WiseGirl98

Blueocean7's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Blueocean7's badges

Blueocean7's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

#13591774
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (7227)

On 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10101) - you deserved it (33840)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (2418)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8972) - you deserved it (38425)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

#13442740
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (2708)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by tman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

#13353654
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (6160)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34910) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML

#13223066
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (33927)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Liz - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53578) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53578) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

#13213311
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (2725)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by amorousintx - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (5283)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6468) - you deserved it (38624)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

#12870338
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33655) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: