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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (94713) - you deserved it (4890)
On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73248) - you deserved it (4232)
On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80350) - you deserved it (4064)
On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Moisdone - United States (Florida)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92722) - you deserved it (13502)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
I agree, your life sucks (175989) - you deserved it (19115)
On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83528) - you deserved it (5821)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77935) - you deserved it (2676)
On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (325590) - you deserved it (45143)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML
I agree, your life sucks (113324) - you deserved it (4562)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72687) - you deserved it (3547)
On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136846) - you deserved it (20741)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121966) - you deserved it (4847)
On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (104899) - you deserved it (7699)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by hipprep83 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85071) - you deserved it (19070)
On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (143181) - you deserved it (25687)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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