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Blueocean7

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Blueocean7
  • Town/Country : Washington DC, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2023
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Blueocean7's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (6615)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

#16248268
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (4977)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

#15833308
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28614) - you deserved it (7634)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (4164)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
729 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (6600)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27584) - you deserved it (6988)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

#15683687
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19018) - you deserved it (2802)

On 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm - misc - by ihateseagulls (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

#15669664
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (6431)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:57pm - work - by PsychoSarah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML

#15642936
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML

#15532059
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (6132)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:10pm - love - by AFGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#15284565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (4515)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37578) - you deserved it (4132)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

#15198554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (3469)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Shoofly - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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