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Blueocean7's FML badges
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Blueocean7's favorite FMLs
Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML
by tycrist8 / 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML
by UN4 / 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm / United States / Work
Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML
by assault and imnotracistbuttery / 04/18/2015 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by NotALuckyGuy / 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
by Iwtumn / 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm / Austria / Health
Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML
by skanula414 / 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Kids
by Anon / 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML
by Slow_Walker / 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm / Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni) / Intimacy
by datgurllllukno / 10/15/2014 at 2:26am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2014 at 8:00am / United States (Florida) / Work