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Blueocean7's favorite FMLs
by erphy21 / 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by scoobysnarks / 09/24/2015 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML
by Anownimous / 09/18/2015 at 3:51pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML
by Stairs? Noooooo / 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML
by tycrist8 / 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML
by UN4 / 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm / United States / Work
Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML
by assault and imnotracistbuttery / 04/18/2015 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by NotALuckyGuy / 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
by Iwtumn / 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm / Austria / Health
Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML
by skanula414 / 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Kids
by Anon / 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
- Today, to confirm how accurate the science report on who is most attractive to mosquitos is (blood… Today, I was woken up at 1am with a migraine, by my husband who drunkenly called to ask if I'd like… Today, I bought some chocolate brownies for the first time in months. I hardly ever eat chocolate.…