Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bluemonster3

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bluemonster3

0Liked!

Bluemonster3Bluemonster3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 43745
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Bluemonster3 : Welcome to my profile :)

Feel free to look around.

Bluemonster3's page activity

Visits<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:16pm<b>asadskill</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:10pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 4:09pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:01pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:21pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:39am<b>Oddire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:01am<b>footballguy55</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:04am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:42pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:34pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:32pm<b>icetube550</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:42pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:30pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:37am

Bluemonster3's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Bluemonster3's badges

Bluemonster3's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (4974)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (3755)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (5423)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

#20029280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2490)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (8075)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

#20028546
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5243) - you deserved it (18371)

On 08/18/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (1780)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (1529)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

#20026393
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (1858)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (1602)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (2682)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

#20025943
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8613) - you deserved it (21422)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Megan - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (1711)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: