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BlueFlatts

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BlueFlatts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2217
  • Number of comments : 279
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BlueFlatts : Hmm... I wouldn't know where to start.

BlueFlatts's page activity

Visits<b>cmcgirt37383</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:06pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:35am<b>hockeynut1</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:39am<b>facelick</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:35am<b>danielle5561</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:57am<b>avoriginiess</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:34am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:49pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:20am<b>drsinister</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:57am<b>003bee</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:08am<b>kate_themediocre</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:32pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:59am<b>gay_flavored_cx</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:36am<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:12am<b>zanoty</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:18pm<b>dodo116</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 2:37am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:18am<b>alexj177</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:33pm

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BlueFlatts's favorite FMLs

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (2601)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (1797)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (5288)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (2407)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (3217)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (3006)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27532) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33444) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (14986)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (4832)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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