Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BlueEyesBlondeHa

Search for a member

BlueEyesBlondeHa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1028
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

BlueEyesBlondeHa's page activity

Visits<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 03/17/2012 at 4:00am<b>genki008</b> - the 03/27/2009 at 5:58pm

BlueEyesBlondeHa's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

BlueEyesBlondeHa's favorite FMLs

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59802) - you deserved it (8458)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68124) - you deserved it (7707)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

#2018927
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13540) - you deserved it (96205)

On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML

#1982205
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10891) - you deserved it (51431)

On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48672) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

#1975711
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15298) - you deserved it (48841)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

#1973503
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14941) - you deserved it (53629)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50657) - you deserved it (5808)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59016) - you deserved it (23432)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

#1971968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (3542)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (64801)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

#1957441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

#1956453
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47401) - you deserved it (9314)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: