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Bludmagnus

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Bludmagnus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 March 1974 (40 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 506
  • Number of comments : 310
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Bludmagnus : Just a guy.

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Bludmagnus's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

#18815086
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (4307)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (12232)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39443) - you deserved it (3044)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (9738)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16060) - you deserved it (23466)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (8604)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (3937)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (34887)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (4117)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (29842)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (32008)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out what its like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

#18732318
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (6321)

On 01/07/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

#18710247
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32568) - you deserved it (4080)

On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)



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