BloodWolf575

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Offline (the 08/14/2015 at 6:26pm)

BloodWolf575

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4639
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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BloodWolf575's page activity

Visits<b>A07</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:05pm<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 6:58pm<b>FAILml</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 10:28am

BloodWolf575's FML badges

Judgmental

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Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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BloodWolf575's favorite FMLs

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

by clutzirella / 08/07/2015 at 2:32am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

by johobus28 / 08/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

by idonthavereligion / 05/29/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

by dadoftheyear / 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

by rachlette / 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy