About BlondePsycho : Highly anti-social. Devout atheist. Giants fan. Scotch drinker.
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BlondePsycho's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML
by Anonymous / 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
by nose hurts / 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by musicthief / 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by baffled / 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
by yeastly / 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
- Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…