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Bloink

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Bloink
  • Town/Country : LA, We have no weather here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2509
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Bloink : Hello. My username is Bloink solely because the word sounds funny.

TEA COW

I am a female violinist jaw harpist epee fencer who loves ice cream, Doctor Who, Lindsey Stirling, minecraft, and cows.

My pic is the top of a container of french silk ice cream, photoshopped to look like a planet in space. Why? Because I can.

I also have ADD.
_\|£\•~£\>{#[#_=_•|!,'€|^]•}€]%_=~=

Sometimes I write stupid comments, and sometimes I write clever comments.

Wait, no. I always write clever comments, and stupid people press thumbs down.

I COMMENT WHAT I WANT

I don't usually write with perfect grammar while commenting, because that's effort and I'm lazy.

However, I will correct you if you're being a dick.

Ok go away now. And I don't usually respond to messages cuz I use the app and I'm antisocial, plus Internet strangers are strange. Oh and I have a boyfriend, so don't message me for those kinds of reasons. Because I know you saw how sexy I am by my profile picture xD.

Bloink's last visitors

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Bloink's FML badges

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Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (5004)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, after spending the night out with her friends to celebrate her birthday, my girlfriend paid me a surprise visit at home, only to find women's lingerie on my bed. She wouldn't believe they were gifts for her, even though they still had the tags on them. FML

#21032861
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43849) - you deserved it (4037)

On 01/19/2014 at 2:12pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (7905)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (17681)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (3912)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43785) - you deserved it (6526)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46799) - you deserved it (3991)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46874) - you deserved it (9159)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40912) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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