Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Search for a member

Bloink

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5299
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Bloink : Hello. My username is Bloink solely because the word sounds funny.

TEA COW

I am a female violinist jaw harpist epee fencer who loves ice cream, Doctor Who, Lindsey Stirling, minecraft, and cows.

My pic is the top of a container of french silk ice cream, photoshopped to look like a planet in space. Why? Because I can.

I also have ADD.
_\|£\•~£\>{#[#_=_•|!,'€|^]•}€]%_=~=

Sometimes I write stupid comments, and sometimes I write clever comments.

Wait, no. I always write clever comments, and stupid people press thumbs down.

I COMMENT WHAT I WANT

I don't usually write with perfect grammar while commenting, because that's effort and I'm lazy.

However, I will correct you if you're being a dick.

Ok go away now. And I don't usually respond to messages cuz I use the app and I'm antisocial, plus Internet strangers are strange. Oh and I have a boyfriend, so don't message me for those kinds of reasons, because I know you saw how sexy I am by my profile picture xD.

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>lokiodinson</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:11am<b>whsjsdd</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:36am<b>klb9</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:31pm<b>jessicanewton</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:03pm<b>Prince434</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:38pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 6:10pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:14pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:28pm<b>DaFoo</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:09pm<b>sleaves</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:04pm<b>fyl_im_fab</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>stephaner2179</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:43pm<b>CloudKumo</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:12pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:33am<b>kurofjones</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:57pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:05pm<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:14pm

Bloink's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (16151)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (27679)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML

#21151371
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (4876)

On 05/25/2014 at 4:54pm - work - by kalamar5 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48895) - you deserved it (6050)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42396) - you deserved it (4393)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (8138)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49615) - you deserved it (3879)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45622) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (6430)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (50563)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (6500)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (15290)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45556) - you deserved it (10250)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: