Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bloink

1Liked!

BloinkBloink
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10023
  • Number of comments : 210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Bloink : My life doesn't suck...


Which makes writing essays for college applications quite difficult.




Oh, the irony....

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>linbabe17</b> - 23 hours ago<b>zombie_ninja_24</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:42am<b>JMichael</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:47am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:35pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:47pm<b>FatedB</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:51am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:48pm<b>vegemute</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:33pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:19pm<b>gracewinchester</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:02am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:50pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:41am<b>mahovalia</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:08pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:41pm<b>HereNReady</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:42am<b>SpaghettiCatt</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:56am<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:08pm

Liked!<b>linbabe17</b> - 17 hours ago

Bloink's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (7084)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50434) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46862) - you deserved it (9160)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (6682)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (4142)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44788) - you deserved it (25521)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46491) - you deserved it (4665)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46856) - you deserved it (4134)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (2948)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
72 comments

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (15331)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (8143)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48075) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52034) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: