Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Search for a member

Bloink
  • Town/Country : LA, We have no weather here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2502
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Bloink : Hello. My username is Bloink solely because the word sounds funny.

TEA COW

I am a female violinist jaw harpist epee fencer who loves ice cream, Doctor Who, Lindsey Stirling, minecraft, and cows.

My pic is the top of a container of french silk ice cream, photoshopped to look like a planet in space. Why? Because I can.

I also have ADD.
_\|£\•~£\>{#[#_=_•|!,'€|^]•}€]%_=~=

Sometimes I write stupid comments, and sometimes I write clever comments.

Wait, no. I always write clever comments, and stupid people press thumbs down.

I COMMENT WHAT I WANT

I don't usually write with perfect grammar while commenting, because that's effort and I'm lazy.

However, I will correct you if you're being a dick.

Ok go away now. And I don't usually respond to messages cuz I use the app and I'm antisocial, plus Internet strangers are strange. Oh and I have a boyfriend, so don't message me for those kinds of reasons. Because I know you saw how sexy I am by my profile picture xD.

Bloink's last visitors

Crash7777PenguinBitchLiiaaBeelizzy_r_b_94Lilsbillscnparks1990Rozza17CheckMyProfile

Bloink's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

#21073930
93 comments

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (53324)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (5092)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

#21073158
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by SchoolFMLs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16757) - you deserved it (53147)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (11385)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

#21072866
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (3082)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:21am - work - by FallCameEarly (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (8167)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

#21071970
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46575) - you deserved it (3972)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (7010)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

#21071018
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35738) - you deserved it (12614)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by ThatGuyWithFMLs (man) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: