Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Search for a member

Bloink
  • Town/Country : LA, We have no weather here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2592
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Bloink : Hello. My username is Bloink solely because the word sounds funny.

TEA COW

I am a female violinist jaw harpist epee fencer who loves ice cream, Doctor Who, Lindsey Stirling, minecraft, and cows.

My pic is the top of a container of french silk ice cream, photoshopped to look like a planet in space. Why? Because I can.

I also have ADD.
_\|£\•~£\>{#[#_=_•|!,'€|^]•}€]%_=~=

Sometimes I write stupid comments, and sometimes I write clever comments.

Wait, no. I always write clever comments, and stupid people press thumbs down.

I COMMENT WHAT I WANT

I don't usually write with perfect grammar while commenting, because that's effort and I'm lazy.

However, I will correct you if you're being a dick.

Ok go away now. And I don't usually respond to messages cuz I use the app and I'm antisocial, plus Internet strangers are strange. Oh and I have a boyfriend, so don't message me for those kinds of reasons. Because I know you saw how sexy I am by my profile picture xD.

Bloink's last visitors

waitwhatsgoingontotallybananascallmefiremanNarttusofakingmexicanCrash7777PenguinBitchLiiaaBeelizzy_r_b_94Lilsbillsimbackwiththeshi

Bloink's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38996) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (4503)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40444) - you deserved it (2686)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36581) - you deserved it (3848)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (4523)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39315) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (5423)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (18152)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

#21087397
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by nerdlette (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (4204)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

#21086436
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (4918)

On 03/14/2014 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37989) - you deserved it (7412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

#21086140
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37996) - you deserved it (6526)

On 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm - love - by wabbyfish (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (10844)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: