Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Online | Search for a member

Bloink

0Liked!

BloinkBloink
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7965
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Bloink : Hello. Welcome to my profile, glad you could make it.

Let me inform you of a few things about myself.
1) I am obsessed with Lindsey Stirling, Google her! (She is known as "the dancing violinist")
2) Doctor Who is my religion
3) I fence epee +D-----
4) In 2013, I won $2000 in America's Funniest Home Videos :3 (it is possible!!)
5) You aren't supposed to understand my profile picture, so don't ask.
6) I generally don't respond to messages because internet strangers are strange, hence the term "strange" in the word "stranger," if you didn't quite catch that.

kthxbai.

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - 14 minutes ago<b>prettyliar2013</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Tymaster5</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Harpy</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Jessica00</b> - 6 hours ago<b>buckdharma</b> - 7 hours ago<b>tmd4L</b> - 8 hours ago<b>EvilTurtle</b> - 8 hours ago<b>abattior</b> - 13 hours ago<b>hfudge</b> - yesterday at 10:59am<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:13am<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:54am<b>parrotchica</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:43pm<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:31pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:59pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:50am<b>irilox</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 10:23am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:47am

Bloink's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (4111) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34304) - you deserved it (3044)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (9136)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (6899)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

#21227229
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53798) - you deserved it (5460)

On 08/02/2014 at 12:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (13861)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52274) - you deserved it (7175)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (3008)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (4990)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34572) - you deserved it (8355)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56875) - you deserved it (7179)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: