Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Online | Search for a member

Bloink

0Liked!

BloinkBloink
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7936
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Bloink : Hello. Welcome to my profile, glad you could make it.

Let me inform you of a few things about myself.
1) I am obsessed with Lindsey Stirling, Google her! (She is known as "the dancing violinist")
2) Doctor Who is my religion
3) I fence epee +D-----
4) In 2013, I won $2000 in America's Funniest Home Videos :3 (it is possible!!)
5) You aren't supposed to understand my profile picture, so don't ask.
6) I generally don't respond to messages because internet strangers are strange, hence the term "strange" in the word "stranger," if you didn't quite catch that.

kthxbai.

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - 3 hours ago<b>hfudge</b> - yesterday at 10:59am<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - yesterday at 9:13am<b>MountainGiant87</b> - yesterday at 6:54am<b>parrotchica</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:43pm<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:31pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:59pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:50am<b>irilox</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 10:23am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:47am<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:24am<b>GuessWut</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:59pm<b>CalzoneViking</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>sallee23444</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Melix</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:50pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:52pm<b>PandaPrincess4</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:08am

Bloink's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6409) - you deserved it (109163)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a house delivering pizza. As I walked away, I heard the mom mutter to her child, "That's why you go to college." FML

#14162042
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (5660)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (2733)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (2321)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

#14156953
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (4858)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (36791)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32088) - you deserved it (2743)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML

#14111441
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33078) - you deserved it (4191)

On 12/06/2010 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (8637)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (4133)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (7984)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (8805)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40200) - you deserved it (3027)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58053) - you deserved it (10575)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70800) - you deserved it (4958)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: