Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Online | Search for a member

Bloink

0Liked!

BloinkBloink
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8507
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Bloink : Hello. Welcome to my profile, glad you could make it.

Let me inform you of a few things about myself.
1) I am obsessed with Lindsey Stirling, Google her! (She is known as "the dancing violinist")
2) Doctor Who is my religion
3) I fence epee +D-----
4) In 2013, I won $2000 in America's Funniest Home Videos :3 (it is possible!!)
5) You aren't supposed to understand my profile picture, so don't ask.
6) I generally don't respond to messages because internet strangers are strange, hence the term "strange" in the word "stranger," if you didn't quite catch that.

kthxbai.

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>mahovalia</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:08pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:41pm<b>HereNReady</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:42am<b>SpaghettiCatt</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:56am<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:08pm<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:58am<b>Stegosaurus314</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:09am<b>radj</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:01pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 9:57am<b>prettyliar2013</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:02am<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:00am<b>Harpy</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:30am<b>Jessica00</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:06am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:48am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:41am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:27am<b>abattior</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:06pm

Bloink's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (4355)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45102) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (4683)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (6388)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32734) - you deserved it (2725)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (2638)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (2714)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (6740)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42006) - you deserved it (5962)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (44649)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40817) - you deserved it (8361) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (5030)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (7816)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (14020)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: