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Bloink

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Bloink
  • Town/Country : LA, We have no weather here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2529
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Bloink : Hello. My username is Bloink solely because the word sounds funny.

TEA COW

I am a female violinist jaw harpist epee fencer who loves ice cream, Doctor Who, Lindsey Stirling, minecraft, and cows.

My pic is the top of a container of french silk ice cream, photoshopped to look like a planet in space. Why? Because I can.

I also have ADD.
_\|£\•~£\>{#[#_=_•|!,'€|^]•}€]%_=~=

Sometimes I write stupid comments, and sometimes I write clever comments.

Wait, no. I always write clever comments, and stupid people press thumbs down.

I COMMENT WHAT I WANT

I don't usually write with perfect grammar while commenting, because that's effort and I'm lazy.

However, I will correct you if you're being a dick.

Ok go away now. And I don't usually respond to messages cuz I use the app and I'm antisocial, plus Internet strangers are strange. Oh and I have a boyfriend, so don't message me for those kinds of reasons. Because I know you saw how sexy I am by my profile picture xD.

Bloink's last visitors

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Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (4822)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17851) - you deserved it (41773)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (8225)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML

#21106910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (3957)

On 04/07/2014 at 4:54pm - misc - by DetergentFrog6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (10729)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18077) - you deserved it (40517)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40277) - you deserved it (2704)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38272) - you deserved it (10674)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41638) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35080) - you deserved it (4896)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (3839)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

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  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

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