Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Search for a member

Bloink

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5440
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Bloink : Hello. My username is Bloink solely because the word sounds funny.

TEA COW

I am a female violinist jaw harpist epee fencer who loves ice cream, Doctor Who, Lindsey Stirling, minecraft, and cows.

My pic is the top of a container of french silk ice cream, photoshopped to look like a planet in space. Why? Because I can.

I also have ADD.
_\|£\•~£\>{#[#_=_•|!,'€|^]•}€]%_=~=

Sometimes I write stupid comments, and sometimes I write clever comments.

Wait, no. I always write clever comments, and stupid people press thumbs down.

I COMMENT WHAT I WANT

I don't usually write with perfect grammar while commenting, because that's effort and I'm lazy.

However, I will correct you if you're being a dick.

Ok go away now. And I don't usually respond to messages cuz I use the app and I'm antisocial, plus Internet strangers are strange. Oh and I have a boyfriend, so don't message me for those kinds of reasons, because I know you saw how sexy I am by my profile picture xD.

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - 13 hours ago<b>PandaPrincess4</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:08am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:10pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:09am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:21am<b>lokiodinson</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:11am<b>whsjsdd</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:36am<b>klb9</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:31pm<b>jessicanewton</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:03pm<b>Prince434</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:38pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 6:10pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:14pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:36pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:28pm<b>DaFoo</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:09pm<b>sleaves</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:04pm<b>fyl_im_fab</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>stephaner2179</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:43pm

Bloink's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (10905)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43055) - you deserved it (5797)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

#21221361
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (5253)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (4412)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (4482)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38994) - you deserved it (4976)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (8338)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52950) - you deserved it (6816)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (5677)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49854) - you deserved it (6581)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

#21205700
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (4111)

On 07/11/2014 at 2:04am - health - by Useless training - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43446) - you deserved it (3071)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (3346)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: