Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bloink

Offline (the 02/26/2015 at 4:34pm) | Search for a member

Bloink

2Liked!

BloinkBloink
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20994
  • Number of comments : 217
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Bloink : "I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong"

Bloink's page activity

Visits<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:50pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:01am<b>haleyc558</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:53am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:33am<b>Frillwee95</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:02am<b>ZiggysMommy512</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:58am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:04pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 12:40pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:00am<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:48am<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:38am<b>1dvos_grl3</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:23am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:22am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:46pm<b>hotrodman</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:25am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:54pm

Liked!<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:33am<b>linbabe17</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:33am

Bloink's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Bloink's badges

Bloink's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (7756)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35113) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

#21354669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (2827)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:25am - love - by Vampire Teabag - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

#21349905
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (2734)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - misc - by jamienicole1993 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (3279)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (6540)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (3157)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: