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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 June 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3981
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BlingBang : I use FML because it's fun reading the stories published here. Although the comments surprise me at times; its unbelievable how judgemental people can be.

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BlingBang's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51234) - you deserved it (24751)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59376) - you deserved it (4914)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (7056)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (15429)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57748) - you deserved it (5550)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (4901)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49350) - you deserved it (4157)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55450) - you deserved it (18024)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61745) - you deserved it (5313)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47376) - you deserved it (9296)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45320) - you deserved it (7924)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49476) - you deserved it (18070)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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