About BlankSteve : I'm a Junior... And... That's really about it... I don't do much...
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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BlankSteve's favorite FMLs
Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
by dickhead / 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
by Highnapple / 03/04/2015 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by m33p / 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML
by Stinkipinkki / 08/21/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by courtneynaked / 02/07/2012 at 8:47am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
by faded as shit / 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy