About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you deserved it (10462)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13870) - you deserved it (18346)
On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (4077)
On 02/10/2009 at 6:30am - misc - by touched (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16557) - you deserved it (5653)
On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177364) - you deserved it (7213)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (8219)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17986) - you deserved it (3804)
On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41192) - you deserved it (5329)
On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13146) - you deserved it (2703)
On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39124) - you deserved it (1836)
On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)
Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12101) - you deserved it (1216)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50190) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (1260)
On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (1448)
On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6626) - you deserved it (9747)
On 01/14/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Ad-s - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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