Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blackmail111

Search for a member

Blackmail111

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11943
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.

Blackmail111's page activity

Visits<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:01am<b>lotr4</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:26am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:07am<b>Rainbowbish</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:14am<b>LeMoan</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:16am<b>Yogibob</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:04am<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 10:34pm<b>penguinhalo</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:27pm<b>CinderBrick</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:58am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:29pm<b>ItsMeDiegoG</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:20pm<b>fillintheblanks</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:52pm<b>drewski_14</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:01pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:07pm<b>p4perp4rty</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 10:18am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:20am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 1:12pm<b>adamranavaya</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:22pm

Blackmail111's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Blackmail111's badges

Blackmail111's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

#20089771
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (2097)

On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

#20089553
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (2045)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1547)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (1477)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

#20088451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (2529)

On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (1511)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (4564)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

#20088101
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (1289)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by Jograd - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (4126)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (1970)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: