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Blackmail111

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Blackmail111
  • Town/Country : Sarcasm land, Mars
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9847
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.

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Blackmail111's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (7176)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41151) - you deserved it (25864)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1095736) - you deserved it (108842)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67005) - you deserved it (403367)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

#133390
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (2559)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13588) - you deserved it (57971)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (5291)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37171) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39751) - you deserved it (11866)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16337) - you deserved it (21477)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

#20147
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29427) - you deserved it (4566)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:30am - misc - by touched (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (6817)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (10160)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)



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