Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Blackmail111

Search for a member

Blackmail111

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21513
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.

Blackmail111's page activity

Visits<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:44pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Maplekat</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:28pm<b>_Mango_Mango_</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>EvoLove</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:34am<b>shwn_pal</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:44pm<b>aseus</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:43pm<b>jamieros</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:39am<b>emirenee</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:34pm<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:45pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:15pm<b>footballer96</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:50pm<b>WallyQ</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:48am<b>ethanw41</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:17am<b>Han1156</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:58pm<b>madeline9322</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Sal_Plissken</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:30pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:06pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:51pm

Blackmail111's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Blackmail111's badges

Blackmail111's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

#1154114
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67495) - you deserved it (21387)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48075) - you deserved it (9394)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (317550)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169194) - you deserved it (8508)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

#877150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50891) - you deserved it (33635)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (92493)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63576) - you deserved it (5790)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (73837)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (48263)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

#754316
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (49928)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by jalapenos99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106610) - you deserved it (7214)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58687) - you deserved it (3663)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53762) - you deserved it (9730)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111384) - you deserved it (5881)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: