About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.
About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Blackmail111's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Up and coming moderator
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Blackmail111's favorite FMLs
Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML
by Spec / 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML
by ineedanewjob / 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
by oops / 04/05/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML
by jalapenos99 / 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML
by lizzardbreath / 03/31/2009 at 6:44am / United States (California) / Love
by beat10 / 03/30/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
- Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating.… Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and… Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he…