About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51605) - you deserved it (3574)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm - money - by thatsucks (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46035) - you deserved it (1206)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49481) - you deserved it (2457)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54808) - you deserved it (3677)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45698) - you deserved it (3802)
On 05/11/2009 at 2:21am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64051) - you deserved it (3427)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (62210)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43503) - you deserved it (4152)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36528) - you deserved it (2012)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by bumgirl - United States (California)
Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57377) - you deserved it (3483)
On 05/07/2009 at 6:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53832) - you deserved it (1863)
On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended he loudly complained to his friends about the annoying girl sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5476) - you deserved it (71058)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by anon (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (97397)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16379) - you deserved it (59864)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88893) - you deserved it (14370)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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