About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
Fav words to say: Well Fuck & Really! You don't say.
Fav music:Eminem, the rolling stones, the animals and the beatles
Fav FML Commenters: Docbastard
Most hated FML Commenters: Silvergaze. Why? Because she acts like an ignorant bitch in her comments and says rude and abrupt things and has a duck face for an avatar.
I really don't feel like writing anymore because I'm lazy as fuck...P.S Don't message me because I only use the app.
About Blackmail111 : I'm very sarcastic
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Blackmail111's favorite FMLs
Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 6:44am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended he loudly complained to his friends about the annoying girl sitting next to him. FML
by anon / 05/04/2009 at 5:56pm / United States (California) / Love
by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Cammy / 04/29/2009 at 3:19am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into a girl I used to go to school with. We went out for dinner to catch up, and we ended up at my house, watching movies and cuddling. This fantastic and spontaneous date was concluded with several kisses. I dropped her off at her car and drove off. I forgot to get her number. FML
by PIRATE_ / 04/27/2009 at 3:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML
by happybirthday / 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
- Today, like every other day, I woke up and made myself a cup of coffee using my French press. After… Today, my phone fell from the table. I desperately tried to catch it with my foot, but I completely… Today, a customer returned a toilet to the store but an associate didn't check it. Later a customer…