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BlackPaint

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BlackPaint

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  • Number of visits : 244
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BlackPaint's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 10:42pm

BlackPaint's FML badges

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BlackPaint's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56837) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35337) - you deserved it (5043)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41359) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43968) - you deserved it (3184)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (2488)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43192) - you deserved it (9333)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (21519)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52599) - you deserved it (5900)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49507) - you deserved it (5680)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (9052)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (13868)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50649) - you deserved it (5587)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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