About BlackDawnz : Sometimes crappy things happen to people who deserve it.
BlackDawnz's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
BlackDawnz's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML
by Jer / 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm / Jordan (Al Balqa') / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML
by LaLince / 06/28/2013 at 4:17am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Work
Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
by Gribby / 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML
by LyraAlluse / 06/26/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
by Smart / 09/16/2011 at 10:42am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
by fmlifetime / 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when… Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when… Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in…