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BlackCat5

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BlackCat5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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BlackCat5's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

#17477307
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (5116)

On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (4683)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (34212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (4656)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (5581)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11196) - you deserved it (24424)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11246) - you deserved it (24074)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (34791)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (11684)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (2858)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45960) - you deserved it (15924)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML

#2968548
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14156) - you deserved it (33754)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)



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