BlackCat5

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BlackCat5

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  • Number of visits : 1057
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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BlackCat5's page activity

Visits<b>prettybabe11</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 5:50pm

BlackCat5's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of BlackCat5's badges

BlackCat5's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

by Mumbling Mutt101 / 08/15/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

by ciotter / 01/08/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

by chi-huaHUA / 12/04/2010 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

by Hobbsie / 08/29/2010 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

by axwound / 12/27/2009 at 8:04am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

by Slivered / 11/18/2009 at 4:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

by beaten / 09/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Idaho) / Health