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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Bknightxo

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Bknightxo
  • Town/Country : I'm sure you want to know that :), USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bknightxo : Freshman at Gannon University
On a Pre Law track majoring in english
I'm outgoing and I like bright colors
Music= Love
Incredibly open minded get to know me :)

Bknightxo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Bknightxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (28139)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

#4321339 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (41650)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - animals - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

#4320217 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (12022) - you deserved it (26279)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by drooler (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (5331) - you deserved it (55607)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (56074)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363075) - you deserved it (401422)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (737852) - you deserved it (61015)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (927)

I agree, your life sucks (419966) - you deserved it (30696)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)