About BitsOBacon : Call me unlucky if you want, but we all know it's almost always my fault.
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BitsOBacon's favorite FMLs
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
by Greg / 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by The greatest Illusion ever / 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
by MBean / 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm / Anguilla / Animals
Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML
by monsterdanceman / 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML
by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by jdawn99 / 10/22/2013 at 10:24am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
by ouch.... / 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by / 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by other woman / 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love