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Birujo

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Birujo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5189
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Birujo : Hello world!

Birujo's page activity

Visits<b>mklepfer</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 7:09pm

Birujo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Birujo's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (7578)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19738) - you deserved it (35816)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (5239)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28364) - you deserved it (2299)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (3449)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (6246)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37502) - you deserved it (10921)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41336) - you deserved it (5028)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35735) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (11229)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (4644)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43287) - you deserved it (3654)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)



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