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Birujo

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 5:59pm) | Search for a member

Birujo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Birujo : Hello world!

Birujo's page activity

Visits<b>mklepfer</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 7:09pm

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Birujo's favorite FMLs

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2285)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30337) - you deserved it (6235)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36917) - you deserved it (10782)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41205) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (11073)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34921) - you deserved it (4611)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

#21261117
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (5533)

On 09/19/2014 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (2617)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50710) - you deserved it (9745)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (3852)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (8286)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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