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Birujo

Offline (the 11/30/2015 at 4:14pm) | Search for a member

Birujo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11165
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Birujo : Hello world!

Birujo's page activity

Visits<b>mklepfer</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 7:09pm

Birujo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Birujo's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

#21489395
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Nuts (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

#21485396
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

#21466828
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/10/2015 at 8:32am - health - by bwoolf96 -

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (1605)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (10248)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (3332)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (5233)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37117) - you deserved it (3111)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35720) - you deserved it (8425)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)



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