- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Not specified
- Number of visits : 13434
- Number of comments : 0
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About Birujo : Hello world!
About Birujo : Hello world!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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by Nuts / 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 11:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
by KenzoBVB / 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada / Health
Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML
by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by clutzirella / 08/07/2015 at 2:32am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML
by Anonymus / 04/18/2015 at 3:01am / Sweden / Kids
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by NotDying / 04/08/2015 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML
by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous