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Biohazard40

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Biohazard40

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 204
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Biohazard40's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowsofthedead</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 11:34pm

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Biohazard40's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (27417)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (6156)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (4521)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6982) - you deserved it (26874)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (1655)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

#14395971
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (6850)

On 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm - misc - by glam300 - United Kingdom

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (3131)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (20921)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (20921)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

#12878777
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9918) - you deserved it (70202)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by ohseven6421 - United States (California)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (7737)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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