BimmerDriver

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/05/2014 at 5:10am)

BimmerDriver

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3233
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

About BimmerDriver : Hello, my name is Taylor and i'm 18 years young. I check FML about once or twice a day on my phone when I get bored. I love BMWs. I drive a 1995 BMW M5, a 2011 BMW 335xi, and a 2005 Land Rover Range Rover. I bought them with my own hard earned money and hope to one day own new models of both. (Although the e34 M5 is sexier than any new BMW in my opinion).

Edit:
Sadly my e34 M5 is currently replaced by an e38 740i

BimmerDriver's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:58am<b>EevieBear</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Kris_326</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:53pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:23pm<b>californian21</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 7:12am<b>jairolover</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Swarley4</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:32am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:09pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:32pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:02am<b>cocomalo8</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:29am<b>dylanj0119</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:38pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 11:33am<b>Soparot</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:05am<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:25pm

Fucked!<b>jairolover</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 2:46am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:00am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:53pm<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 2:04pm

BimmerDriver's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of BimmerDriver's badges

BimmerDriver's favorite FMLs

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

by brokedad / 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm / Saudi Arabia (Makkah) / Love

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

by dancer, not a hooker... / 05/05/2013 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

by psycho ex / 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm / Brazil / Love

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

by sanoria51 / 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous