About Bikeintruder : WOO MOTORCYCLES!
"I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy."
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (2857)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (1426)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (21947)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (2284)
On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (2407)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4915) - you deserved it (18945)
On 04/12/2012 at 5:27am - love - by Jealousbitch - United States (Florida)
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (1496)
On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States
Today, I was fired because a 10 year old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16539) - you deserved it (1820)
On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (2256)
On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37827) - you deserved it (3523)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (3168)
On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, while stocking shelves with canned goods, a kid no older than ten ran down the aisle, knocking down everything in his path. He was followed by his mother who was laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (1867)
On 02/04/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8092) - you deserved it (20496)
On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (63995)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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