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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (6716)
On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (3017)
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (4727)
On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)
Today, I found my husband Googling the Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (2408)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (5487)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40403) - you deserved it (1429)
On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4742) - you deserved it (43302)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:23am - love - by SexyPlayer9 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42707) - you deserved it (4646)
On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Tallow101 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11672) - you deserved it (36551)
On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (44133)
On 06/28/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by lifedamntough (woman) - Singapore
Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55786) - you deserved it (1935)
On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66156) - you deserved it (16285)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (115398)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
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