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Biden

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Biden

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 298
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Biden's page activity

Visits<b>marmaries</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:23am<b>a4s</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:55am<b>turtlescott163</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 12:55am<b>Mrlunchbox3</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:51pm<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 9:48am<b>LipStickTazer</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 7:26am<b>BaussauceRaptor</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 1:05am<b>master_plan</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:36pm<b>mesaiov</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 9:59pm<b>CanadianRussian</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:53pm

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Biden's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52896) - you deserved it (7984)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52368) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44589) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47302) - you deserved it (4996)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (4026)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35648) - you deserved it (8372)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50979) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43468) - you deserved it (9332)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44467) - you deserved it (13288)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (3944)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44993) - you deserved it (23402)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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