BiTeMeLuVv

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BiTeMeLuVv

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2228
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About BiTeMeLuVv : FML
^ (O_o) >
Why you no like my submissions?

BiTeMeLuVv's page activity

Visits<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:33pm<b>josiahj</b> - the 06/10/2012 at 2:51pm<b>Gabimagoo</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 11:33pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>beaner512</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:16am

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BiTeMeLuVv's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

by Sharibabi65 / 03/07/2012 at 1:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

by none / 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

by Username / 08/11/2011 at 12:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

by Liz / 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Work

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

by jakethed0g / 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Holidays

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

by 6u174r_d00d / 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

by Ser17 / 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm / United States / Animals

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

by teeth / 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

by myheart75 / 08/07/2011 at 5:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids