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BiTeMeLuVv

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BiTeMeLuVv

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1498
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About BiTeMeLuVv : FML
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BiTeMeLuVv's page activity

Visits<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:33pm<b>josiahj</b> - the 06/10/2012 at 2:51pm<b>Gabimagoo</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 11:33pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>beaner512</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:16am

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BiTeMeLuVv's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (6106)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8415) - you deserved it (52723) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

#19182227
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15241) - you deserved it (30566)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by none - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9386) - you deserved it (32603)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (24617)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45579) - you deserved it (3902)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43285) - you deserved it (2831)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

#17436127
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (13526)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

#17434039
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (2224)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (2624)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

#17431204
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

#17429478
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (5395)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

#17429124
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34618) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (3535)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

#17395246
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (5352)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:52am - kids - by myheart75 - Australia (Victoria)



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